hitting the pause button.

After a long debate and a lot of self reflection, I’ve decided to hit the pause button on social media for a bit. Sure, you can laugh and think it’s such a silly little thing, just don’t click on the app. I wish it was that simple for me. 

photos from our holiday pictures. Taken by Lauren Pusateri

You see, 6 years ago Scott and I decide to make the move from Dallas to KC for Scott’s job and ultimately, to be closer to family. Leaving Dallas wasn’t a tough decision for me as I never really felt like I had found my group, “my people”. The only things I was going to miss was my job, the shopping, living in a city that was so vibrant with fashion, and shockingly, so empowering to woman. There was a company that was just starting up as we were getting ready to leave and to be honest, a job was offered to me that I laughed off as we were moving and I had such big, grand plans for what would be in KC when we got home. The company? RewardStyle. I try not to dwell on the past and think about “what ifs” but its hard not to with this. This will always be a regret of mine. A year after moving back to KC I started to find myself feeling like there was an empty hole in me. What was it? I was newly married to my high school sweetheart, we were discussing a family, I had a job with a great company and yet, still felt so unfulfilled. So, I started to write. Before I could really call it a blog, it was just a journal. Writing was my way of letting things go, moving forward, letting bygones be bygones. I even went as far as mending old friendships, and reaching out to people that I had done wrong. I finally got the courage to hit publish on a blog post and immediately got emails from friends at rewardStyle saying they needed more “influencers” and wanted to sign me up. I never had to apply, prove myself, get X number of followers, I just said “alright”…with a whopping 200 followers.

6 months post Hunter. Photo taken by Lauren Pusateri

Ever since then (5+ years ago), I’ve been fighting an uphill battle with no one but myself. The constant reminders that I do not look like everyone else (or like my old self for that matter), that I do not live a life like what social media thinks I should, that my children aren’t dresses the best at all times, or that my house isn’t even close to being “instagram worthy”. This battle has contributed to the dark days in my life this past year. When I’m having a bad day and I check out instagram, I subconsciously think it’s going to make me feel better. But in reality, it does the opposite. It throws me, head first, into a comparison game with complete strangers and some damn good filters. The facts of the matter, for me, are these: 

• I don’t want to be fake to my friends, or people that might think I’m interesting. 
• Life is HARD, it’s not always pretty and in order to move forward we must be transparent about this.  
• I don't want to post something every single day that people think they "need". It's not real life.
• I don’t have the luxury of having a husband that works from home, or better yet, works for ME. He works 10, 12, sometimes 15 hour days, 5 days a week. The sun hasn’t come up when he leaves for work, and it’s down when he gets home. He can’t take pictures of me 95% of the time. 
• I also don’t have the luxury of hiring someone to take pictures of me for the sole reason of selling clothing through an app. Scott just got through MBA school, I work  because I love what I do, and for my sanity, but essentially all it does is pay for childcare. Frankly, we don’t have the extra funds lying around to let me buy whatever I want, then to pay someone to photograph it. Hence the mirror selfies in my bedroom and the over posting about Target.
• I’m really never “instagram ready”. It’s rare when I have makeup on, my clothes usually have some sort of food/drool/bodily fluids on them from my kids, and chances are good that my leggings cannot even be linked as they are 3 years old from Nordstrom Rack. 
• Also, what is working out? I vaguely remember doing this pre-kids and I VIVIDLY remember having a great body but I have already forgotten the smell of a gym at this point. So, no. I cannot do an instagram post of working out because that would be a fucking lie. 
• I’m a mom to 2 small kids that run laps around me every day I’m home and I’d rather spend that $100 a month that a gym would cost on replacing the 1996 appliances in my house. #realtalk 
• Is liketoknowit the right space for me? Are they creating a world of comparison and competition within strangers and peers that is unnecessary?
• Fashion is suppose to make you feel good about yourself. It’s suppose to make you light up when you put on that dress that fits like a glove, or that new pair of jeans that doesn’t remind you “YOU HAD 2 KIDS AND THINGS DON’T FIT THE SAME!” My fear is that we have created such a monster through influencers on social media, that grown women are now comparing themselves to people every hour of every day and are left feeling empty and not worthy. 

• 

photos by Lauren Pusateri

So, why have I been letting an app control my life? Why have I been trying to compete with people that don't even have a similar lifestyle? Ultimately I think it’s because I keep reminding myself that if I would have really stuck to it, really worked on making it work, I would be one of those influencers. I’ve had a RewardStyle account for over 6 years now. I’ve let myself down by not really working on this tool. If I would have thrown caution to the wind and poured all my energy into impatientdixie, could I have over 300K followers with an instagram husband? Who knows. But, instead I have 2 incredibly happy, healthy, loving children and I wouldn’t change that for the world. 

I love fashion and I love shopping. Always have, and I always will. There’s a reason why I majored in it in college, and why I’ve held some pretty kickass, powerful jobs in the industry (100% bragging). But, I refuse to let it take me down this year. Nothing is going to change my passion for it or for helping others. I still have a handful of people that come to me for shopping needs and advice and I am always here for that. But, until I figure out how I can work this platform that has been given to me so generously through RewardStyle, while still  being transparent and honest, I’m going to need to take a break. Reset. 

photo taken by Lauren Pusateri

*Disclaimer: I fully understand that social media is a highlight reel. No one wants to post a picture of a shitty day or what you are ACTUALLY wearing to bed or to Target. I'm fully aware of these things. I'm also fully aware that I have an incredibly blessed life. My children could not be happier, healthier, or more beautiful (in my eyes) than they are. My husband loves me dearly and would do just about anything to make me laugh or smile. I have a group of friends that bring me to tears thinking about them. They lift me up, make me laugh, and for that I am forever grateful. Finally, you follow me on social media (obvi) so you know the love my family and I have for each other. It's a love I wish everyone feels at some point in their lives.*

August Target Haul

Recently, it seems like every time the kids or I wear something from Target, we get a compliment. Or a "so cute, where's that from?" I'm not saying this to toot my own horn but instead, I've decided to do a monthly "Target Haul" post. Highlighting what all I have found at my recent trips to Target and just how well dressed we can all be, on a budget. 

*Don't worry, will also be highlighting the kiddos AND...the dudes!

 

First off, this dress is marked down to $12.48! Not to mention that right now it's buy 1, get 1 50% off on all Xhilaration clothing!

 

Alright ladies, SADDLE UP. The new collection from Who What Wear is INSANE. Not to mention that they have plus sizes in just about everything! This jacket is under $40 PLUS , if you have cartwheel, you get an additional 10% off. So...yeah, practically free. 

 

I've been trying to get behind the Pajama top look for a few months now but haven't found the perfect top. Everything is either too "nighty", or frankly, so cheaply made that I break out into a sweat just trying it on. Well, Who What Wear did it again and at under $25 (plus 10% off for cartwheel believers), it was a no brainer for me. 

 

And yeah, I will take this silky bandana scarf at under $20, while I'm at it. K, thanks. 

 

Could not be more relieved that I passed on the EXACT Kate Spade top a few months ago. Now, I can just wear this (machine washable) cotton & lace tank! And at under $23...you don't even have to try to sell it to me. (Comes in black too...with 10% off...Is this working?)

I was on the fence about this dress but then realized that it was under $30 and so lightweight that this post-2nd baby-hot flashes having-mama needs that, real bad. Low cut in the back but not so low that you can't wear a bra. Also comes in a blue floral print! 

*Stay tuned for how I will transition this into the winter*

 

First off, y'all like my socks?! #fashionista. I found the perfect tank over the summer and I may, or may not, have purchased them in every color. Now, I found the perfect tee. Super soft cotton with a v-neck that's not "too much". Side slits makes it perfect for layering and if you are under 5' 7", you could totally wear this with leggings. Oh...and it's $14.  

Lastly, the long kimono. With my height, I love a long kimono that I can throw over jeans, a dress, or leggings, and not feel like I am showing the world what the good lord gave me. Ya feel me? I will totally be wearing this with shorts (pictured) and with jeans when it gets warmer out. The perfect weight for anything, really! 

Until next time, Target. 

{Amy}

#nsale Anniversary prep

If you've never experienced the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale than I get it. You're like, WTF is going on. Not only is social media set afire about it, but the store itself looks like it's a clearance center. Well, it kind of it. 

The Nordstrom Anniversary sale has been going on for as long as I can remember. During the sale, Nordstrom deeply marks down brand new merchandise for only 28 days. In the past, the merchandise that was marked down is all brand new, never seen before, fall & winter merchandise. Today, it's so much more than that. Nordstrom works closely all year with their top vendors to be able to provide exceptional products that you can "buy now, wear now" as well as your fabulous fall essentials...all at a serious discount. (**Did I mention beauty as well?**)

Here are a few of my "professional" tips...

1. Shop early. Things will sell out, and they will sell out fast. Yes, some items will be restocked but it's no guarantee. 

2. BECOME A CARD HOLDER. Nordstrom has 3 different types cards. A retail card, a signature visa, and a retail visa. You get rewards for every dollar spent and...YOU GET TO SHOP EARLY. 

Yes, as a Nordstrom card holder, you get to shop this sale 7 days early! Starting tomorrow, July 13th, any Nordstrom card holder can shop the sale. If you aren't a card holder, you have to wait until July 21st to get the best savings. 

3. If you see it, like it, and it's in your size...buy it. Nordstrom's return policy is by far the best. Which is, there is no set time frame for returns. Now, they might question a to coming back 3 years later but--there isn't a time frame. You could purchase a few things and ship them back or bring them back to the store. Not to mention: free shipping, free returns, ALL THE TIME. 

Now, as a tease, check out what's in the anniversary lookbook! 

Summer wardrobe: take 2.

So this will be great. My summer wardrobe is going to be a healthy mix of my pre-teen years, Abercrombie and Fitch (see my last post) and my future PTO-board self, Ann Taylor. The best part about it? I really could care less. Because, LET'S DISCUSS ANN TAYLOR LOFT.

First things first, they are always having a major sale. Like this weekend, everything is 30% off. (40% if you're a cardholder)...So, that's rad. Second, not only does everything run true to size, if anything it runs big...and who doesn't love saying "I need the next size down". Finally, the shit holds up!!! It's all super comfortable, easy to care for, and fits great. Do you want me to keep talking or should I just stop so you can shop?

**Edit: To all the mommy's out there-- Loft has a ton of nursing friendly tops and sweater.  Be watching for a blog post soon on this!

My current favs---

eyelet one shoulder top

Flora Flutter shell

striped lace up sweater

Floral Mosaic Swing dress

Striped Sweater Tank

Fringe Sweater

Unpicked denim skirt

Chambray One Shoulder top

Cabana Pleated Maxi Skirt

Ruffled Wrap Skirt

In the Trenches

2 Tone Trench // Yellow Floral Trench // Beige & Black heart Trench // Pink handwritten Trench // Polka Dotted Bow Trench // Watercolor collar Trench // Lace detailing Trench // High Low Black Trench // Denim Trench // The New Basic Trench

Like I said in my very first post, almost a year ago; I’m not a writer. I’ve never thought of myself as a writer, nor do I believe I am supposed to be a writer. However, I am a thinker, a big one. I’m one big emotional basket case that will say idioms “just cause” and 65% of the time have no idea if I am using it in the correct way or not. Guess it’s my way of thinking that if I use an idiom here and there, I’m a grown up.  (And since I’m expecting my first baby, clearly I’m a grown up.)

However, one idiom I use all too often, and even more so today, is ‘to be in the trenches’.  Not to be confused with “into trenches” which I am also fully on board with as well. And have dedicated this post to my most favorite (and most reasonably priced) trench coats. There’s a whole big world out there that doesn’t involve just Navy and Beige, people!

I am “in the trenches” with the hardest part of my pregnancy, the trenches of a huge layoff throughout my company, the happiest trenches (yeah, it's a thing) of the most exciting sporting event to happen in KC since I moved here 18 years ago. And finally, the trenches of a rather life altering family event. But, like I told one of my closest friends this past weekend as I was catching her up to speed on my life; “I’m uncomfortable if there isn’t chaos.” Chaos has been my life for as long as I can remember. I actually get anxiety if things are going too well, running too smoothly; it’s that feeling of “things are too good to be true, something has to come down.” 

I am on the front line of these events (well, not the Royals going to the World Series but if anyone wants to put me in the front line, feel free.) and I don’t see them letting up any time soon. And that’s ok. I know that through life events, I can handle all of these. There will be good days and bad days, ups and downs, and highs and lows. But, the more I talk to people about being in the front line of all of these life events, the more I realize I’m not the only one. We have all been in the trenches of our own lives and amazingly enough, we’ve all powered through them. 

We all know rain is inevitable; it’s just a matter of when it decides to fall. 

{Amy}

 

An Ode to Old Navy

On the Left: Beige zip booties: Old Navy // On the right: Beige zip booties: Rag & Bone // On the left: Black zip booties: Old Navy // On the right: Black zip booties: Rag & Bone // On the left: Beige ankle strap booties: Old Navy // On the right: Beige ankle strap booties: Rag & Bone // On the Left: Black ankle strap booties: Old Navy // On the right: Black ankle strap booties: Rag & Bone

I can safely say that up until a few months ago I couldn't honestly tell you the last time I had stepped foot into Old Navy. Maybe it's the mass produced "4th of July [insert year here]" tee for $4 that turned me off but I just couldn't do it. It wasn't until I got pregnant that people started suggesting I go in there for cheap maternity clothes. Naturally, I thought all their tops would look like they came straight from the '80's handbook with a tie-back "waist" because doesn't every pregnant woman want to showcase their stomach like it's a big present? (The answer is no. Yes, it's a beautiful thing. But no, I don't want to walk around like I am giving the entire metro the gift of life.)

Hesitant to what I'd see there, on a boring weekend I decided to venture into the unknown and see what all the hype was about. Once again, I was proved wrong. Dead. Wrong. Yes, they still have their $4 Tees that look like they may or may not fall apart in the washing machine. And yes, their jeans are still $32 but you run the risk of some serious mom-butt. But, for the most part, their fashionable clothing are very much so on-trend and still extremely cheap. The biggest find for me were their shoes...

Any time I can buy a pair of boots or booties that are $32 instead of $525, I'm in. Even if they only last me 1 month...money well spent in my books. The quality felt great (although not real leather), they look like they will be able to last me, at the very least, 1 season, and I'm saving money while wearing them. Now, if I could just talk to them about their maternity section, I'd be their #1 fan. 

{Amy} 

Always down for a good find

 

 Jacket: Target // L/S Tee: GAP // Jeans: GAP // Necklace: Jennifer Zeuner // Shoes: Kate Spade

 

Let's face it; we've all bought clothing at Target at some point in our lives. NO one is "above" target, I don't care what you say. Some of us buy clothing there weekly and hell; even daily (guilty). However, once in a blue moon we stumble upon something that does not look like it should be hanging on the stainless steel, cold racks of Target. Case in point; this faux leather Xhilaration jacket. it has the Faux sweatshirt attached so you don't have to worry about the bulky look when you put it on. I went up a size just for length and it fits like a glove. The best $40 I've spent at target in a long time. (Well, I did just buy a killer pair of elastic waistband pants but, that's a totally different post.)

 

Also, to all my DIY friends out there, these shoes are Kate Spade and my daily obsession but something tells me this would be easy to replicate. I know Target has some similar cheetah print slip-on's right now and Lord knows (no pun intended) Hobby Lobby makes a mean faux leather bow. Would be curious if anyone out there has thought about replicating these on a budget.

 

{Amy} 



Too Soon?

Shearling cardigan: BB Dakota

Side Zip Sweater: She Inside

Fringe Hem Sweater: She Inside

Open Back Sweater: Asos

Chiffon Hem Sweater: J. Crew

Embellished Sweater: Necessary Clothing

Wrap Sweater: Just Female

Rival Team Cardigans: Gold // Blue

Is it too soon to already be wanting to be in big, oversized, chunky sweaters? Maybe it's the fact that all I have had to choose from this summer has been tanks or tees with ruching down the side (*side note can someone please find a better way to design maternity clothes? We are pregnant, not PTO mom's in training.) and pants with elastic waist bands. If elastic waist pants don't scream "take fashion advice from me"; then I'm clearly in the wrong business.

Or, maybe it's the fact that 'sweater weather' means fall, which I think we can all agree is by far the most superior of seasons. (I'll spare everyone from sounding like a broken record going on and on about the 'crisp air' and football saturdays. We know, that also happens in the fall.)  It also means that Christmas (and Baby Morris) are right around the corner and with Christmas means a new year, a time for everything to start anew. 

Since I just can't wait to bust out my Fall sweaters (and say sayonara to ruching galore), I've decided to give everyone a little head start on their fall wardrobe. Above are some of my most favorite pieces for Fall...and did I mention none of them are over $110 (Most of them being under $50!!!!!!!!)????????

{Amy}