Dusting off the mic

The reason I've been gone for 2 years. 

Is this thing still on? Welp, the one thing I promised in my last post was to write again soon…that was over 2 years ago. So, first thing is first; I sometimes bite off more than I can chew. 

So here it goes, a “reintroduction” if you will…And I might be doing another one here in 2 years. This blog, Impatient Dixie, came from a place of loss and needing to be heard. In December 2013, my husband and I suffered a miscarriage, at 12 weeks, the day after Christmas. I was 26. I had just accepted a new job in an industry I knew nothing about and saying I felt lost in an understatement. As ridiculous as it sounds, the only thing that really made me feel like “me” after this was writing, and blogging about fashion for everyone. Ever since I can remember, my love for clothing and fashion has taken precedent over just about anything. I majored in it, I moved to 3 different states for it, and I thought I would dedicate my work life to it. Then came my daughter, Hadley, in 2014 and EVERYTHING changed. 

If you scroll back long enough in Impatient Dixie then you will be see the evolution of impatientdixie.blogspot.com and how it started, and where it is today. I won’t blog about fashion every week, hell…I might not blog about fashion for 2 years. Get over it.  Since becoming a mother (and expecting a son in April of this year…yikes) I have realized there is a huge hole in the open discussion of motherhood and what all we go through. Even when we have extremely supportive significant others, we need someone telling us, “hey, this is normal, it will be ok.” 

So a recap of who I am, and what impatient dixie is…

1. I have enough stories about my family to write a book or a lifetime mini series. We are a bunch of looney tunes but they are my looney tunes and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Well, for the most part.
2. I am 100% “That parent” that is beyond obsessed with her child and I have stopped apologizing for it. She is literally my most favorite human being in the world and *hint to future post* I am terrified to welcome a 2nd child as I am not sure how you love 2 children the same. There, I said it. 
3. I suffered from postpartum depression after my daughter. Big time. I believe this is just another topic that we refuse to talk about and that needs to change. This is another reason I just couldn't blog for a long time. I didn't feel like myself, didn't want to do much, just in the throws of it. 
4. While pregnant with Hadley, My Mother-in-law was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer and had a 25% survival rate. She’s 100% better and I have to compete with her for who Hadley loves more…It’s a battle I don’t mind fighting.
5. Mother-in-law means I’m married. Yes, I am married to the same guy that I was dating in 2004. What can I say, I’m a creature of habit?? This July, Scott and I will celebrate being best friends for 15 years. Which also means I have been with him for half of my life. *Cue heartburn*
6. I live on a budget. A big one. I work part-time in the retail industry, and full-time in the mom industry. The reason I say this is for my future fashion blog posts. Anything I blog about is going to be reasonable. I believe that blogging about a Gucci mule and slapping “#momstyle” on is cruel and unusual punishment. (Not to mention…the shit (literal, shit) that falls on shoes when you have a kid…let’s stick to target, k?)
7. Finally, the name. Where did it come from? To quote my first ever post… “I’ve always wanted a place to share my thoughts, ideas, fashion, and just life adventures. If you know anything about me, you should know that my life is a bad Bravo reality show that holds no punches. My family is one white tent short of a full blown circus. I’m perfectly impatient in every way possible. I wake up anxious and fall asleep anxious. Surprises scare me almost as much as circus clowns and I actually take “neurotic” as a compliment . I find solace in fashion and look to the big man upstairs when I need peace. Alabama is where I call home and the simple sound of “Dixie” makes my soul smile.  So, take a seat, strap in, and enjoy the ride.”

{Amy}

From the Heart

**This post was written in January 30, 2015. I never had the heart to say "publish". But, no time like the present. **

A few months ago, actually more like 6 months ago, I was sitting at work and received 2 text messages almost simultaneously, on the same day. One, from my mother-in-law, the other from my mother. Both Selfies. Both smiling. The difference was the backdrop. 

My mother was with Scott walking the beautiful beach of Lake Michigan, ironically enough, the same beach that we will one day lay my grandmother's ashes to rest. They were smiling, basking in the sunshine and enjoying that moment together. It's not everyday that you hear of husbands truly enjoying the company of their mother-in-laws and being able to receive this text while at home VERY pregnant made my heart smile. 2 of my favorite people together, just enjoying where their lives had taken them. The other selfie was totally different, however shared the same sort of smile. 

My mother-in-law, Pam, was sitting in a chemotherapy chair about to embark on her first treatment for Breast Cancer. Still to this day I have a hard time grasping the fact that we went through this. However, even with her port visible in the picture and her hair cut short knowing that she would lose it, she was dressed to the nines and ready for what life had handed her. How many people do you think take selfies while in a chemotherapy chair? My guess would be few. But, Pam isn't your typical cancer patient. She would probably slap me if she knew I was referring to her as a cancer patient! This women was excited to get a wig as she wouldn't have to worry about her hair for a while. When she had a reaction to the drug and it made all of her skin that was damaged by the sun peel off? A "benefit of chemo"...no need for another chemical peel! Now, 7 months after the diagnosis, Our Pam is cancer free. In every sense of the word. Her results are "unheard of, remarkable, astonishing" as her oncologist put it, or as her kids put it, "normal for mom". (Don't tell her doctors but 24 hours after her double mastectomy she was at burger night with everyone and a week after her surgery she beat Scott in ping pong. You know, normal "cancer patient" stuff.) Yeah, this is who my daughter shares a name with (their middle names are both June and Hadley has bee giving the nickname of 'Junebug') and I couldn't be more proud.

Unfortunately, this wasn't my first rodeo with cancer. I've been lucky enough for cancer to not directly effect my family but it has been all around me for a while. I watched my mother lose her best friend to breast cancer, my best friend lost her father to cancer, and a dear classmate of mine in High School lost his battle to cancer. I tried to not draw similarities to these when talked to Scott about his mom but deep down, I was scared out of my mind. But, something felt different about Pam. Not once did any of us think she wouldn't survive this. I think the fear will always be inside of us, though. The "what if's" that every cancer survivor and family member lives with day-to-day but ultimately we know Pam and we know the strength she carries within her. Looking back, my biggest regret was focusing so much on Scott and not picking up the phone and calling my family members. The last conversation I had with my grandma was the 2 days before she passed. Right before we hung up the phone I gave her an update on Pam and how I was feeling (6 weeks before my due date) and she very gently said, "I want to talk to you more Ames, I miss talking with you and knowing about what's going on in your life." Her saying that will forever haunt me. 

My Pal knew what she was doing. She passed on a Tuesday and that Sunday before she had talked to me, my sister, and my mom. Hours before her life-ending heart attack, she bought Hadley's baby gift...an owl that makes the sound of a heartbeat to put in her crib to soothe her when she sleeps. As cheesy as it sounds, I know my Pal is forever in that Owl and will always be watching out for my little girl when she sleeps. That sound is the only thing that will put Hadley to sleep. 

Events happen in your life that you never thought would be possible, good and bad. When it doesn't make sense at the time and all you want to do is be angry, I have realized that with time and patience, it will all make sense. For instance, when Scott and I found out that we were pregnant with a girl, I wept...For days. How could I be having a girl? I didn't want a girl, girls are mean, bratty, spoiled, just not what I wanted my first born to be. I was pathetic and looking back I am ashamed at myself. I was pregnant with a healthy baby and all I could do was say "poor me". It was the Amy show, no doubt about that. Then we got the news of Pam's cancer and my mentality totally shifted. To be honest, I put being pregnant and trying to enjoy it on the back burner and went into wife mode by trying to protect Scott. There are times and things that happen in a relationship that should be kept private and Scott going through this time in his life is one of those. I will never share his journey as it is his to share. All I will say is that if he loves Hadley and I even half as much as he loves his mother, we will be truly blessed for the rest of our lives.

I cannot imagine having a boy. There is a reason Hadley was our first born. She shares her Gigi's namesake so she will forever be reminded of the strength she has inside of her, just like Pam. I know she had a conversation with my grandmother before making her entrance into the world as there is no doubt she has her great grandmothers sense of humor. My grandmother would always say "A life for a life" when someone would pass, and I never really understood why she said that. I don't believe she was taken from us for Hadley's life, but instead for Pam's. 

I now make it a point to take a picture of Hadley every single day. (Not like that's a hard task!) I don't do it because I live in fear of something happening to her, I do it so I can remember how far she has come every day since she was born. If you don't take a picture of a particular moment in time, good or bad, how are you going to remember how far you've come, or what to strive for to get there again?

So, the next time you see someone taking a selfie, before you judge them and whatever stupid face they are making, remember that you don't know why they are taking that. So, let them take it. Let them remember that moment in time as it will soon pass. Hell, maybe take a selfie yourself.

Oh, and one last thing. Hey, Cancer, fuck you. We won. 

Dreams do come true

 Confession: I didn't paint this mural, nor do I know who did. It just so happens the previous owners of our house had a little girl as well and used this room for a nursery. This mural we never painted over "just in case". Well, it worked and we greatly appreciate the mystery artist.

You are my sunshine frame, similar here // My top // Scott's top // Hadley's Pants // Gunther's Bowtie, similar here // My Watch // My Bracelets: David Yurman, Tiffanys // "hello" print // Hadley Chair // 'You are my bucket list' print // Pink gingham pillow // White Linen embroidered pillow // starburst mirror, similar here // Owl Rocker // Rug // Changing Pad // Golden Retriever Plush // Hanging bird cage // Yarn spun 'H', similar here // Burlap flowers // Paper pinwheels: Click here for the DIY instructions // white wicker basket // 'Love you more' sign // Owl Piggy Bank // little boy statue // Bowl lamp // hanging hand mirrors; Similar here // monogram decal // Hadley's blanket 

I can honestly say that I never had any intention of doing a blog post on Hadley's nursery. However, I've had enough friends and family members actually get mad at me for not writing about it, so I figured I'd better write something. Not to mention my friend and talented photographer, Lauren Frisch, did call Hadley's nursery "blogger gold" so...hey, why not?

When I say that Hadley's nursery was on a budget,  I mean a "don't spend any money" budget. Aside from the necessary crib and dresser that you have to have, the idea of spending a ton of money on a 8 pound baby seemed a little silly. I might love one style but who's to say she isn't going to want a "Limited too-esque" zebra print room in a few years? (please God,  anything but that.) Hadley's room began and ended in a day. Of course, I had a few ideas, and Pinterest always helps to get those going, but it wasn't until I went into our basement and started going through Scott's and my keepsake boxes that her nursery started to come to life. That is the biggest advice I can give anyone who is trying to revamp any room in their house...see what you already have in your house, or even within your family, before you go and spend any money on decorations. Additionally, the things I wanted but couldn't seem to find, I ended up making myself. Yes, I got "DIYed" 7 months pregnant. 

A few items that are pictured were Scott's, or mine, as a child and my mother's as a child, so those I couldn't link to anything. (sorry.) But, these are the items you might find in your basement or your parents basement. Vintage books are the cheapest way to decorate, I have them everywhere. You could go to any vintage bookstore or even a garage sale and find them for a quarter. All of the Peter Rabbit china was Scott's as a child, and the rabbit lamp was mine as a baby. When you're wanting to redecorate a room, get inspiration from magazines, Pinterest, really anything. Then, before you go straight to Pottery Barn do a little shopping at places you never thought you'd go, such as flea markets, vintage stores, thrift stores. It's incredible what you can find (and make) with just a little inspiration. 

'Tis the season

1. Midi Skirt // 2. fingerless mittens // 3. Long trench jacket // 4. shrunken button down // 5.Sherling lined vest // 6. 'tis the season mug // 7. socks // 8. tartan poncho // 9. Blanket Scarf // 10. Tartan loafers // 11. Rugby jacket // 12. Plaid jogger pants // 13. Buffalo check peacoat // 14. Midi Skirt // 15. Plaid checked pants // 16. Minimergency kit // 17. Plaid shorts // 18. Slippers // 19. Vest

Can someone please explain to me how it's already Thanksgiving? I'm pretty sure I was holding a sparkler and wearing something that resembled an American flag just last week. Thanksgiving is a holiday I could do without but Black Friday and Cyber Monday make up my trio of favorite holidays. So, I guess I have to deal with hyped up turkey and sides in order to enjoy my favorite holidays.

If you are a diehard Chiefs fan like myself, you never need an excuse to buy anything that's red and fashionable. It's as if it's become a part of my vocabulary, just like me make an excuse as to why I buy anything black and gold (Go, Tigers). "I mean, it's perfect for a Chiefs game!" "This would be perfect for one of those chilly tailgating Mizzou games, duh." Yes, this is how I talk to myself in my head, just agree to get over it. (Disclaimer: I have been to 3 Mizzou games this year but am fully prepared for another 15 this season.) Imagine my joy when I started to see the trend for this season shifting towards my beloved buffalo plaid, red & black. Hallelujah, Praise Jesus...Let the "Chiefs" shopping commence! 

You don't have to even know who the Chiefs are in order to love this look right now. I rarely wear red but there is something about November & December where I truly believe red looks good on everyone. Not to mention...drum roll please...EVERY SINGLE ITEM I covet above, is on sale from now until Monday night. And, I'm not talking "Save 5% but pay $15 in shipping" Sale, I'm talking 50% off with free 2-day shipping. Get in gear, kids. It's game time.

{Amy}

In the Trenches

2 Tone Trench // Yellow Floral Trench // Beige & Black heart Trench // Pink handwritten Trench // Polka Dotted Bow Trench // Watercolor collar Trench // Lace detailing Trench // High Low Black Trench // Denim Trench // The New Basic Trench

Like I said in my very first post, almost a year ago; I’m not a writer. I’ve never thought of myself as a writer, nor do I believe I am supposed to be a writer. However, I am a thinker, a big one. I’m one big emotional basket case that will say idioms “just cause” and 65% of the time have no idea if I am using it in the correct way or not. Guess it’s my way of thinking that if I use an idiom here and there, I’m a grown up.  (And since I’m expecting my first baby, clearly I’m a grown up.)

However, one idiom I use all too often, and even more so today, is ‘to be in the trenches’.  Not to be confused with “into trenches” which I am also fully on board with as well. And have dedicated this post to my most favorite (and most reasonably priced) trench coats. There’s a whole big world out there that doesn’t involve just Navy and Beige, people!

I am “in the trenches” with the hardest part of my pregnancy, the trenches of a huge layoff throughout my company, the happiest trenches (yeah, it's a thing) of the most exciting sporting event to happen in KC since I moved here 18 years ago. And finally, the trenches of a rather life altering family event. But, like I told one of my closest friends this past weekend as I was catching her up to speed on my life; “I’m uncomfortable if there isn’t chaos.” Chaos has been my life for as long as I can remember. I actually get anxiety if things are going too well, running too smoothly; it’s that feeling of “things are too good to be true, something has to come down.” 

I am on the front line of these events (well, not the Royals going to the World Series but if anyone wants to put me in the front line, feel free.) and I don’t see them letting up any time soon. And that’s ok. I know that through life events, I can handle all of these. There will be good days and bad days, ups and downs, and highs and lows. But, the more I talk to people about being in the front line of all of these life events, the more I realize I’m not the only one. We have all been in the trenches of our own lives and amazingly enough, we’ve all powered through them. 

We all know rain is inevitable; it’s just a matter of when it decides to fall. 

{Amy}

 

An Ode to Old Navy

On the Left: Beige zip booties: Old Navy // On the right: Beige zip booties: Rag & Bone // On the left: Black zip booties: Old Navy // On the right: Black zip booties: Rag & Bone // On the left: Beige ankle strap booties: Old Navy // On the right: Beige ankle strap booties: Rag & Bone // On the Left: Black ankle strap booties: Old Navy // On the right: Black ankle strap booties: Rag & Bone

I can safely say that up until a few months ago I couldn't honestly tell you the last time I had stepped foot into Old Navy. Maybe it's the mass produced "4th of July [insert year here]" tee for $4 that turned me off but I just couldn't do it. It wasn't until I got pregnant that people started suggesting I go in there for cheap maternity clothes. Naturally, I thought all their tops would look like they came straight from the '80's handbook with a tie-back "waist" because doesn't every pregnant woman want to showcase their stomach like it's a big present? (The answer is no. Yes, it's a beautiful thing. But no, I don't want to walk around like I am giving the entire metro the gift of life.)

Hesitant to what I'd see there, on a boring weekend I decided to venture into the unknown and see what all the hype was about. Once again, I was proved wrong. Dead. Wrong. Yes, they still have their $4 Tees that look like they may or may not fall apart in the washing machine. And yes, their jeans are still $32 but you run the risk of some serious mom-butt. But, for the most part, their fashionable clothing are very much so on-trend and still extremely cheap. The biggest find for me were their shoes...

Any time I can buy a pair of boots or booties that are $32 instead of $525, I'm in. Even if they only last me 1 month...money well spent in my books. The quality felt great (although not real leather), they look like they will be able to last me, at the very least, 1 season, and I'm saving money while wearing them. Now, if I could just talk to them about their maternity section, I'd be their #1 fan. 

{Amy} 

Always down for a good find

 

 Jacket: Target // L/S Tee: GAP // Jeans: GAP // Necklace: Jennifer Zeuner // Shoes: Kate Spade

 

Let's face it; we've all bought clothing at Target at some point in our lives. NO one is "above" target, I don't care what you say. Some of us buy clothing there weekly and hell; even daily (guilty). However, once in a blue moon we stumble upon something that does not look like it should be hanging on the stainless steel, cold racks of Target. Case in point; this faux leather Xhilaration jacket. it has the Faux sweatshirt attached so you don't have to worry about the bulky look when you put it on. I went up a size just for length and it fits like a glove. The best $40 I've spent at target in a long time. (Well, I did just buy a killer pair of elastic waistband pants but, that's a totally different post.)

 

Also, to all my DIY friends out there, these shoes are Kate Spade and my daily obsession but something tells me this would be easy to replicate. I know Target has some similar cheetah print slip-on's right now and Lord knows (no pun intended) Hobby Lobby makes a mean faux leather bow. Would be curious if anyone out there has thought about replicating these on a budget.

 

{Amy}